The Perfect Gift For Everyone

Gift-Packing-BoxI finally figured it out and I’m sure I’ll certainly attain nirvana for that – probably the only real achievement in my whole life anyway!

And as I’m terribly proud of myself a generous person – every now and then –

I’ll share the secret to happy existence with you:

Make proper gifts!

finger traps

Someting that everybody benefits from – Chinese finger traps are the key.

It’s so simple I could cry – in fact I am …

Why didn’t I think of that,  you may wonder – don’t torture yourself – epiphanies may come late in life or never, but in any case they’re hard to remember when sober again.

Anyway, for those who are still drunk, I’ll explain, so stop puking for a moment or two.

It worksThey are foolproof!

You can give it to people you like – watch them having a good time.

A charitable gift for people you hate – watch them and you’ll have a good time (priceless watching people how to make more use of their feet)

Relax and watch the beauty of simplicity.

Anyone with a proper business plan feel free to contact me!

Mountain top

Meditating for month on a mountain top finally paid off!

But don’t pin me down on that – could have been drinking on a rooftop, too  – I have no clear memory about it.

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Back From Tibet – But Still Fighting For Buddhism Based On Alan Rickman

buddhaJust returned from my self-discovery trip to Tibet.

Was real tough, almost became a Buddhist!

Stepped back from that idea after a couple of monks tried to slay me.

Still trying to figure out what upset them so much, these guys are supposed to be peaceful souls right?

I think my idea of conveying a whole new branch of Buddhism arround the glory of having Alan Rickman on this planet might have  failed.

Although I’m not sure yet, I hope they give it a thought, as soon as they calm down a bit.

diaryIt started out so good, armed with my backpack and diary, invited by a bunch of monks to stay at the monastery.

Water had a funny color, taste was most interesting, couldn’t take the rice though, caused terrible stomach ache.

Made a lot of friends – fright of cockroaches and huge bugs practically gone.

Gold everywhere, scraped bits off whenever I could, for souvenir purposes.

Must admit had trouble though discovering myself – I blame the lack of internet access for that.

Alan RickmanMonks didn’t empathize with me on this. Felt it was time for my:

“Why Alan Rickman is so divine”-lecture

Was a disaster, caused almost a riot.

Again, I blame lack of internet for that.

Six month of backpacking sucks, if there is no internet access anywhere!

What I’ve learned:

I don’t want to live without internet ever again.

Don’t trust a monk with a torch.

Adoring Alan Rickman will unite people some day.

internet

Ring Around The Rosie

It’s not a crime to trip and fall one might think. Obviously not everybody thinks that way.

He did not only lose the ring, but also his patience not to mention his fiancé. I don’t blame the girl, you wouldn’t either, after seeing the guy.

He had no right to blame me for that and certainly none to punish my car!

I was chasing the guy, while he was chasing his ex-fiancé, when her quarterback of a brother, decided to come after me.

So, while they where foaming at the mouth, I tried to maintain some grace.

I don’t go screaming the place down – I curl up to fetal position and cover myself with a blanket.

I decided I’d stop squandering good manners to the ungrateful.

Don’t they know the rules of common courtesy?

How barbaric.

Would it kill you to show some compassion?

Tired by all that fuss, I suggested he should sort things out with her.

I mean really he’d probably just need to toss a rose onto her lap.

I’m pretty sure they did not suffer from rabies, but I wish I could say the same about derangement.

Path To Enlightenment

Picture by atomicjeep

Find it generally very hard to follow any kind of path, my CV shows that very clearly. But I’ve heard enlightenment (is that the way you spell it anyway?) is a good thing, therefore anybody should go for it.

Can’t get myself to practise Yoga, but I got me some Yogi tea (the stuff that Yoga Gurus drink) instead. Tastes like shit, now it dawns on me why they say, the path of enlightenment is a hard one. Yeah, you know what? So can be, the way to the bathroom, if you don’t make it in time.

Picture by Lauren Manning