April 10, 2012 by Turber

Orangeness

I don’t mind orange on carrots, tangerines, or kumquats.

It’s a healthy color on them, but on everything else it can be a nightmare!

Do I have issues with orange?

Certainly, you would too if it happened to you.

Take a look at this: inacceptable orangeness

I still can’t believe it was made color of the year!

Yes, in the year of 2012 we face Tangerine Tango as the main enemy, I think – life can be so cruel, sooo very cruel.

Does anyone else think it might be a little careless?

As if we don’t have enough problems already:

2012 Mayans predicted the end (nobody knows the end of what).

I still didn’t have a chance to meet Alan Rickman.

I haven’t been to Disney World yet (that’s a quicker way of world traveling, and cheaper, if you resist buying merchandise).

But I’ve been dreaming about a trip last night:

I dreamt, I was on a ship, when it began sinking I got contemplative.

I had a hard decision to make.

Would I be able to get over my grudge with orange?

I dearly loathe it – should I betray my principles?

Could I live on with that shame?

When they were giving out the life vests – I declined.

I don’t wanna die, while wearing orange!

April 2, 2012 by Turber

Voices In My Head – Curiosity

Maybe it’s dead.

Maybe it’s catatonic.

Maybe it’s lurking.

Maybe it’s friendly.

Is it edible?

April 2, 2012 by Turber

Hope Unites Globally – Splendid Marvellous Wonderful

Barely awakening from my Irish-Coffee-Coma, I realise that a load of honor has been dumped over me, again, and I just didn’t get it.

Lovely Lynn had the kindness to give me the HUG Award!

You can find her right here: http://deceitfulland.wordpress.com

This award is a bit different than the other blogger-awards (it took me a while to figure it all out, and I’m glad this lady: LScott helped me to do so).

Now, me being absolutely – not modest at all – well, I do not only feel the urge to give back, but to do my best to drag others into my ~~misery~~ loving arms.

Once I’m determined to like you – there will be no escape!

This is how it works: i nstructions

Read it and weep – I did.

There’s nothing so heartwarming like a dearly hug – the next best thing is: to get the H.U.G. Award.

I wanna give a H.U.G. to these guys:

http://faymoore.wordpress.com

http://theliteraryhorse.wordpress.com

March 27, 2012 by Turber

Time Warp

I’m having déjà-vu after déjà-vu, driving me crazy.

Daylight saving time a natural killer of brain cells.

I have constantly the feeling of: been there done that.

I’m confused, at times I forget what day it is – I’m stuck on Sunday, I deny the existence of Mondays.

Getting out of bed, taking a shower, having breakfast – I could swear I’ve done that before!

I have no idea how many breakfast-coffees I had today, or yesterday, or the day before, but I’m trembling.

I guess, my shaking body might be some sort of alarm signal.

What would Captain Picard do, Mr. Spock suggest, or Dr. McCoy prescribe?

Daylight saving time – I’d rather save my sanity than daylight – there’s a new day every day, but you’re only given a limited amount of brain cells.

The mailman resembles Data more from day to day – I guess I watched too many episodes of …

… damn I can’t remember!

Well, probably I’m just tired, I should get me a coffee.

March 20, 2012 by Turber

Muffins Of Good Will

As I’ve become a major subject of interest in my neighborhood, lately, I get a lot of invitations to drop by for a visit.

I figured a nice housewarming present will never fail, so I brought along my famous:

one-muffin-will-keep-you-stuffed-for-a-week-basket.

The noble cockroach, had already claimed the whole territory, as far as I could tell.

The place could have used a bit of improvement.

No sighting of the kids, though.

They’re hiding – just shy I guess – they’ll come out when the fire alarm goes off.

I acted immediately.

After all, things tend to look better, when given a good wash …

March 17, 2012 by Turber

St. Patrick’s Day – I Love Greens $$$

On St. Patrick’s Day the Chicago River is green!

I wonder what they dump into the water the other 364 days to prevent that?

At The Drunken Shamrock Cafe:

I wasn’t too happy there – was kind of cheap. Their Irish coffee didn’t even have coffee in it, only 25 year old Single Malt Whisky.

Sure, it was served in an elaborate chalice, made out of pure gold – you don’t get that at Starbucks – but on the other hand, I could never have 15 Irish coffees a day, I guess I save money on that.

So, after my 2nd chalice, I thought – in lack of my fairy godmother showing up – I’ll catch me a leprechaun and see, if I can get him to grant me a wish or at least borrow some cash.

In the trap, I’ve constructed for that purpose,

I caught last night:

My neighbour’s cat,

my neighbor himself

his daughter’s boyfriend.

Well, not bad for one night!

My neighbor gave me 20 bucks for preventing an illegal visit (from her admirer) to his daughter, and another 20 to bail out his cat.

His daughter gave me 30 to bail out the guy, and an additional 20 not to reveal it wasn’t her present boyfriend.

The young gentleman paid me 50 bucks as hush money, and 50 extra if I promise not to move my trap to the mum’s window tomorrow night.

You’re supposed to wear something green on St. Patrick’s Day?

Lucky me, dollar bills are green! $$$

Happy St. Patrick’s Day Everybody

March 14, 2012 by Turber

The Versatile Blogger Award – Yes I’m The Chosen One

EllaDee, this way to her abode

http://elladeewords.wordpress.com

has been sweet enough to nominate me for a Versatile Blogger Award!

I admit, it took me a while to get the gist, though.

As I understand it, the rules for accepting this award are as follows:

1. Thank the award-givers and link back to them in your post.

(No problem – piece of cake – done!)

2. Share 7 things about yourself.

(Damn, I knew there’s a fly in the ointment!)

3. Pass this award along to 15 or 20 of your favorite bloggers.

(Yes, I can do that – it’s always a good feelin’ to spread the love!)

4. Contact your chosen bloggers to let them know about the award.

(There goes my day and what’s left of my sanity!

Sometimes you gotta work hard for the ~~money~~ award.)

I’ve never even dreamed this would ever happen to me.

Dirt about me:

1. I consider myself a human being – on good days.

2. I do not believe in regret – I pity those who do – I go with denial.

3. I am not insensitive – only people who don’t understand me claim that.

4. I do admit I’m weird, sometimes, okay most of the time – but I’m mostly harmless.

5. I heard fame is very hard to deal with – I don’t care – I’d embrace anything that brings me closer to Alan Rickman (Now, that I’ve won my first award I’m on the right way I think, from here it’s just a small step to an Oscar.)

6. I can’t stand it when I run out of Fortune Cookies – how can anyone live without their wisdom?

7. I feel so dirty right now, I never thought I’d make so many confessions – without having slept with you first, at least.

Other Bloggers you might want to

~~haunt~~

~~stalk~~

check out:

http://naesnest.me/

http://deceitfulland.wordpress.com/

http://westendsingleton.wordpress.com/

http://london-survival.com/

http://yoyodyne.wordpress.com/

http://todayinhh.com/

http://dederants.wordpress.com/

http://faymoore.wordpress.com/

http://sherryfowlerchancellor.wordpress.com/

http://gimmeyummy.wordpress.com/

http://unlikelyexplanations.com/

http://youvebeenhooked.wordpress.com/

http://ronyaroshauthor.com/

http://belleofthecarnival.com/

http://magsx2.wordpress.com/

http://edwardhotspur.wordpress.com/

Anyway, cheer up folks, you just won yourselves a splendid award!

March 7, 2012 by Turber

Things I Don’t Get – Good Help

Things that needed to be done – the results I ended up with

Picture by tinou bao

The laundry – drowned carpets and spiders, because of the flood I caused

The dishes – less dishes to do in future, due to reduced amount of plates, cups, bowls (may they rest in peace)

The dinner – unhealthy fumes in the kitchen, walls went slightly grey (can an oven burn itself up, too?), anyway the lasagna tasted very smoky and a bit rubbery

The grocery shopping – got enough chips to party every day til doomsday, unfortunately no water, fruits or vegetables, although I guess, I could easily substitute the fruits and veggies with gummy bears (they got all the colors)

Do I need help?

Certainly, I do!

Unfortunaltely can’t afford servants…